The In-Between: What My Coaching Is Really About
What My Coaching Is Really About…..
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Sometimes it sounds like, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Other times it’s, “I’m just so tired of carrying it all,” or, “I can’t keep living like this.”
The details differ, but the thread is the same: a woman who’s reached the point where surviving as she is just isn’t possible anymore. For some, it’s betrayal trauma. For others, it’s the exhaustion of motherhood, the slow erosion of identity after years of people-pleasing, or the grief of a relationship ending.
TV and social media love to dramatize these moments as clean breaks: divorce papers slammed on the table, walking out the door with everything packed. But real life isn’t like that. It’s not the instant you throw up your hands and yell, “I can’t live like this anymore,” and it’s not the final slam of papers on a desk. It’s the in-between: the second-guessing, the long nights of doubt, the months of holding it together for everyone else while quietly wondering if you’ve got the strength to do something different.
That’s where I come in. My coaching is the in-between.
It’s the part no one prepares you for, the space between breakdown and clarity. The unraveling. The rebuilding. The small, steady steps that eventually move you forward. That’s the space where I sit with you, and together we do the work that carries you through.
The Optimum Aggravator
The first part of that work might surprise you. Before we tackle big decisions, I start with what I call the optimum aggravator.
This is the part that often makes people mad, because when you’re in crisis the last thing you expect to hear is that we’re starting with self-care. But it matters.
The work ahead, holding boundaries, sitting with new emotions, facing shame and grief, is some of the hardest work you’ll ever do. If you don’t have the tools to comfort yourself in those moments, you’ll almost always slip back into old patterns.
I don’t want that for you. You’re worth far more than the weight of a single hard moment. That’s why before we dive into the big shifts, I help you build a foundation of self-soothing and self-care. When the discomfort hits, and it will, you’ll have what you need to steady yourself and keep going.
Why Big Goals Fail
Even with that foundation, another trap shows up quickly: the size of the goals we set for ourselves.
Most women hit a wall not because they don’t want change, but because the goals feel too big, too far, and too heavy.
We focus only on the end result, and it becomes impossible to hold. You’re already too exhausted to carry that kind of weight.
That’s why I’ll ask you, very bluntly: what’s realistic? What can you do today?
It’s fine to dream big, but the moment you don’t do what you said you would, your brain logs it as failure and the shame sets in. I don’t want you stuck there. So instead, we set something manageable. If your goal is divorce, maybe today’s step isn’t packing up your whole life and moving out. It might just be exploring your budget or identifying one safe person who could be part of your support system.
If you’re reading this right now, try it. Slow down. Pick one very real, very manageable step you could take today. Then close your eyes and sit with it. Notice how your body feels when you shift from the impossible end goal to something small you can actually do.
This isn’t giving up. It’s giving yourself permission to take steadier steps and set yourself up for success.
I bet you just let out a big held in breath. That breath is proof: you don’t have to have it all figured out today. When the time comes, you’ll get there, and it’ll be the right time, the right choice, and yours alone.
My Neutrality
My role isn’t to judge what you decide. Everyone starts with a goal, often born out of anger, grief, or exhaustion. That raw energy is useful at the start because it gets you moving, but it fades. When it does, it doesn’t mean your goals are less important.
What I offer is the space to slow down and widen your perspective. This process isn’t about stripping away your emotions. It’s about gaining the clarity to know your decision is yours. Not a knee-jerk reaction, not a choice made out of fear, but one you can stand in with certainty.
When you do this work, you expand your options. When you finally make a decision, you’ll know without question that it’s the right one for you.
The Paths I’ve Walked With Women
I know this process works because I’ve seen it. Over the years, I’ve walked with women through some of the hardest seasons of their lives:
Betrayal trauma, including sex, pornography and virtual addictions.
Infidelity, whether emotional, a single affair, or repeated patterns of broken trust.
Grief and loss in all its forms: partners, parents, dreams, and identities.
Divorce and separation, including safety planning for domestic violence and building escape strategies.
Boundaries work, from complicated families to toxic friendships to unhealthy workplace dynamics.
Family estrangement and the grief of choosing distance when closeness isn’t safe.
Loss of identity, the quiet unraveling of who you thought you were.
People-pleasing and self-worth struggles that left women exhausted from carrying too much.
Every path is different, but the work is the same: step by step, moving from survival toward something steadier and more your own.
Your First Step
Maybe right now you’re sitting in that in-between. You know something has to change, but the end feels too far away. That’s okay.
For today, your step might be as small as bookmarking this page. Remind yourself that help is here, and that when you’re ready, I’ll walk with you.
Even reading this, you’ve already proven something important: you’re not standing still. You’re searching, reaching, considering change, and that in itself is a beginning, a first step if you will.😘
👉 Book your free Clarity Call here — one gentle step can lead to real change.
You deserve to come home to yourself.
Jennifer
🌊 www.caughtinawave.ca
